The following bits of psychology humor are originally from the psychology department humor web page at the University of Pennsylvania.  

Where to Publish Your Paper (Some of this content has been modified from the original)

1) If you understand it and can prove it, then send it to a journal of mathematics.

2) If you understand it, but can't prove it, then send it to a physics journal.

3) If you can't understand it, but can prove it, then send it to an economics journal.

4) If you can neither understand it nor prove it, then send it to a psychology journal.

5) If it attempts to make something important out of something trivial, then send it to a journal of
    education.

6) If it attempts to make something trivial out of some-thing important, send it to a philosophy journal. 

7) If its strictly an op-ed piece, not based on scientific inquiry in any way, shape, or form, send it to a
     political science journal.

8) If it is rejected by all of the above, then send it to a sociology journal.

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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science (including psychology) and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. 

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference. 

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically meaningless. 

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An
unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. 

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results didn't make any sense. 

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph. 

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. 

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once 

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice 

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice 

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think. 

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think so, too. 

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong. 

"ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumour has it. 

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"... A wild guess. 

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a
glass of beer. 

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it 

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either. 

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOGGS FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS
FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"... Mr. Bloggs did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. 

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. 

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"... I quit.
 

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This page was last updated on 02/26/10 .
This page has been accessed    times since August 8, 2000.